Pot luck
Came home to a dark house after stuffing myself with pork ribs with my parents. Took my shoes off in the hall and idly wandered towards the kitchen to make some coffee. From the corner of my eye I glimpsed something that did not belong there at all. My blood curdled and then froze, I was half paralyzed, didnt dare reach into the kitchen and flick the switch. A brown and hairy thing on top of my stove. Not moving. Most likely frozen in the pure panic of the moment like myself, definatly scanning me and looking closely at me; finding out the best way to pounce and go for my throat, the fastest way to deliver a bite that would cause me to bleed to death in record time. Or that it was aiming for my ankles, going to cut the legs from underneath me so that I couldnt run away while it would chomp happily away at a leg or an arm. Perhaps the face.
Decided to be brave and turned on the light. Its an old fluorescent one, the kind that flickers for a while until it comes on with the brightness precision required in operating theaters. In the all too short flickers of light in between the all too long periods of darkness I noticed it had its long and hairy arm hanging out of a pot on the stove. Started walking ever so carefully to the time of one step per every 300 heartbeats or so (it still was pretty fast walking) then I got a good look at the monster.
A monkey!
I had a monkey in a pot.
Had forgotten that my cousin was visiting earlier with her 6 month old daughter and in the rush to tidy up we had thrown all the toys into the pot AKA coolest drum in the world. Forgetfulness.....senility you see.
Tried to get over the shock and calm my nerves and ran a bath for myself. A splash of purple Radox, proved to be relaxing in big lettering over the label. That should kill my monkey shakes.
When I entered the bathroom I was greeted with a stench so vile and sickly sweet. Into the tub I should go no matter what, since that supposedly should aid a restful sleep. The only way I could envision that happening was if I gagged enough times and for long enough from the smell I would soon be exhausted enough and therefore relaxed, that I would at least get some sleep, if not a restful one.
My 6 month old relative and the makers of Radox have a lot to answer for.......
Decided to be brave and turned on the light. Its an old fluorescent one, the kind that flickers for a while until it comes on with the brightness precision required in operating theaters. In the all too short flickers of light in between the all too long periods of darkness I noticed it had its long and hairy arm hanging out of a pot on the stove. Started walking ever so carefully to the time of one step per every 300 heartbeats or so (it still was pretty fast walking) then I got a good look at the monster.
A monkey!
I had a monkey in a pot.
Had forgotten that my cousin was visiting earlier with her 6 month old daughter and in the rush to tidy up we had thrown all the toys into the pot AKA coolest drum in the world. Forgetfulness.....senility you see.
Tried to get over the shock and calm my nerves and ran a bath for myself. A splash of purple Radox, proved to be relaxing in big lettering over the label. That should kill my monkey shakes.
When I entered the bathroom I was greeted with a stench so vile and sickly sweet. Into the tub I should go no matter what, since that supposedly should aid a restful sleep. The only way I could envision that happening was if I gagged enough times and for long enough from the smell I would soon be exhausted enough and therefore relaxed, that I would at least get some sleep, if not a restful one.
My 6 month old relative and the makers of Radox have a lot to answer for.......
posted by Helga at 12:56 AM
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